I don’t have a lot of money, and this has been the case for a long time. I started baking for friends’ birthdays a few years ago when I had to find a balance between being able to afford rent and groceries and not being a shit friend. Cupcakes are the best go-to when you need to bake something that looks impressive, but don’t have a lot of time or money.

Set out all of your ingredients. If anything’s going to stuff up your end result, it’s leaving half-mixed batter in the bowl while you measure out the rest of your ingredients. You’re going to need:

• 125g butter
• 1 cup caster sugar
• 2 eggs
• 1 tsp vanilla extract
• 1 ½ cups self raising flour
• ½ cup milk
• Some food colouring

-Get your cupcake cases organised before you start. This will make about 12 nice big fat cupcakes. Get your oven heating to 180.

-First you want to beat together your butter and sugar, adding the sugar about a third at a time. When butter and sugar make friends amazing (and fatty) things happen. Try to refrain from sticking your finger into this delicious mess.

-Eggs go in next, one at a time. Beat for about a minute after adding each one, then add the vanilla and beat until it’s all mixed in.

-Add the flour and the milk, alternating between the two, ending with flour. Don’t make the mistake I repeatedly make and eat spoonfuls of this raw batter. It tastes amazing, but you’ll regret it pretty quickly.

-Now comes the fun part. Make your batter as many different colours and as bright as you want. You can give the cakes a marbled effect by mooshing the batter around once you’ve got it in the cases.

-Spoon all of your pretty colours into the cupcake cases, and bake them for about 18-20 minutes. Ovens are super frustrating machines, and each one is slightly different. It’s best to test your cupcakes with a cake skewer thing before you take them out, even if they’ve been baking for the recommended time. If there is no gooey batter clinging to the skewer, they’re done.

-Top with whatever icing you like. I usually use either a whipped chocolate ganache or a brightly coloured vanilla buttercream for these little guys.

-Present to your friends with a superior smile and a shrug – “Oh, I just whipped these up for you, no big deal.”

Cupcakes still seem like too much effort? Cheat by coming in to Hatters Tea House to check out some of the sugary cakey biscuity fatty colourful things that I bake there.

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